Jingle Balls
by LauraHilary
Summary: Christmas Smut/humor. Edward works as a mall Santa. After his shift is over one evening, he heads to the bar and meets Bella, the girl who is all about Christmas. She shows him that being Santa has its perks, she earns her place on the naughty list. O/S


Finally my shift was over. Nobody knows how shitty it is to be Santa until they put on that red suit. I sat in that damn chair all freakin' day and listened to bratty kids demand me to get them a pony or Susie Wets-a-lot.

I was sweating my ass off in that velveteen blanket of red. And that belly I was carrying around?

Fake.

Underneath this shit I was ripped and attractive as hell if I do say so myself. After I exited the mall I walked down the sidewalk towards my favorite pub. Once inside I took a seat at the familiar bar and waved at my usual bartender.

"Hey Jazzy. How goes it?"

He...or she...I wasn't sure, sauntered over to me and grinned.

"Evenin' Eddie. Or should I say Saint Nick?" He...or she...smacked his or her heavily coated pink lips and fluttered a pair of fake eyelashes.

"Can I just get a beer? Fuck I'm so beat."

Jazzy pouted. "Fine." He or she set an ice cold bottle in front of me. "How's work been?" Jazzy asked.

"Shitty. I swear, if they didn't pay me six bucks an hour I'd quit!"

I chugged half of the beer and then slammed it down onto the bar. Just then the bell located above the bar entrance jingled as two people walked in. One was a girl that was obviously dressed like a guy. She had her hair cut short and had even rubbed eyeliner above her upper lip to make a mustache.

The girl beside her was fucking hot. She was dressed in all Christmas attire; a thick red sweater with a Christmas tree on the front. It even had LED lights that lit up the whole thing. Her skirt was the same velveteen as my suit, red with white furry trim. On her head she had a Santa hat that barely covered her long thick brown hair. Behind me I heard a breathy sigh. I turned to see Jazzy gazing at the small girl dressed as a boy. Jazzy gulped as the two girls walked closer.

"W-welcome." Jazzy stuttered, sounding like a teenage boy during puberty.

"Hey." The small girl said, trying to sound manly. The girl beside her stood staring at me with a blush on her face. I didn't understand what she was looking at, but then realized that I still wore my Santa suit.

I heard Jazzy introduce him-herself, and the small girl said, "Names Alice...call me Al. This is my friend Bella. She prefers Jingle Bella though."

Ahh, so she had a thing for Christmas.

Bella...I mean Jingle Bella still stared at me. She almost looked frozen. Though suddenly she started to speak.

"You're...you're him. You're Santa!"

I played with the fake white beard on my face.

"Yep. Sure am."

My eyes roamed down her body and back up. My eyes widened when I saw that her nipples were so hard that you could see the little peaks through her sweater.

"C-can I sit on your lap?" Jingle Bella looked hopeful.

I swiveled my seat towards her. "Well sure honey." I patted my lap, indicating for her to sit down. She quickly hopped up and she wrapped an arm around my neck.

"Have you been a good girl this year Jingle Bella?" I asked huskily.

She bit her plump pink lip and shook her head.

"No. I've been _very_ naughty Santa. So very naughty."

My dick heard every word.

"Oh yeah? Why's that?"

Jingle Bella blushed. "I've been fantasizing about a married man all year. I just want him so bad. I'd do anything to get him."

"Who is he?"

"You."

"Me?"

"_You._ I'm so sorry, I just...Mrs. Clause is _so_ lucky."

Oh fuck. She really thought I was Santa. I decided to use it to my advantage.

"It's alright sweetheart. Mrs. Clause and I aren't together anymore."

Jingle Bella's eyes widened. "What?"

I nodded and plastered a sad smile on my face.

"I caught her banging the head elf in the sleigh last year."

She gasped and wrapped her other arm around my neck.

"Oh my God! I'm so sorry Santa! Is there any way that I can help?"

I pretended to think for a moment. "I'm just so lonely..."

Jingle Bella smiled at me. "Why don't you come back to my place and we can hang out!"

I agreed and we left shortly afterwards. Once outside she stopped and looked at me.

"Should we take my car or your sleigh?" She looked dead serious.

"Uh..." I looked around for a sleigh that I could possibly steal. Nope, nothing. "My sleigh is in the shop. I got a ride here from the tooth fairy."

Bella nodded and smiled as if it was a completely logical explanation. "No problem. I'm parked over here."

Five minutes later we arrived at a small home that was completely covered in Christmas lights. The yard was filled with decorations as well. The inside of the home was just as bad.

"Would you like some cookies? Hot cocoa? Eggnog?"

I shook my head. "Nah, I'm more interested in what I'm looking at."

Bella blushed. "Oh Santa...you don't know how long I've waited for this."

My fingers tapped my head, "I know and see all Bella." I winked.

"Unghhh" She moaned and then launched herself at me. Her mouth was all over my neck. Her tongue was in my beard.

"Ohhh." I groaned. My dick was extremely hard. Jingle Bella was rubbing herself all over me.

"Can I suck on your candy cane Santa? Please?"

Luckily I could pull the ol' johnson through a flap in the front. I did so and sat down on Bella's couch.

"N-no. Can you stand in front of the Christmas tree please?" She begged with her big brown eyes.

"Sure." I walked over and stood in front of the monstrosity.

Jingle Bella put her mouth on me and began sucking the life out of me. It was so damn hot. I almost came in her mouth but stopped her quickly.

"No I wanna cum in that sweet sugar plum pussy of yours."

"Fuck yes!" She stood off and began taking off her clothes. Her bra and underwear were a matching set of red lace and trimmed with white fur. They weren't staying on though. She tore them off and soon enough she was completely naked.

"Ohhh fuck." I moaned when I saw that her nipples were pierced. A little green Christmas tree hung from each nipple.

I found myself sitting down in front of the tree. Jingle Bella crawled on top of me straddling my waist. My fingers found her slit, and they moved back and forth, spreading the wetness around.

"Oh, fuck yeah." She said as she lifted herself up slightly. I positioned myself at her entrance and she plunged down onto my weeping cock.

It was fast and needy, and so motherfucking hot. My fingers pulled at her little dangly Christmas trees and she was screaming out in pleasure.

"Fuck me Santa! Fuck me Santa!"

"You like that big juicy Christmas cock? You like the way my jingle balls slap against your tight pussy?"

"God yes! Fucccck me Santa!"

"Unghhh!" I wasn't sure if it was her screaming or if it was me. Maybe we both were.

I came hard inside of her. She clamped down on my dick so tight that I came again.

She slowed down her movements and we tongued each other while coming down from our highs.

"Jesus. That was amazing."

"Do you think we could do that again soon?"

I smiled. "It was fun baby...but it may take me until Christmas Eve to get back here again; how about then?"

Jingle Bella pouted but nodded. "Okay. I'll see you then Santa."

I smirked and then pulled out of her. After we cleaned ourselves up I left under the guise that I had to check the naughty/nice list. I assured her that she would now definitely be on the nice list.

We kissed under the mistletoe and then I left with a grin.

Ah, maybe my job wasn't so bad after all!


End file.
